Lying is an act of making false statements in order to protect oneself from the consequences of truth. A pathological liar on the other hand is one who lies at a high frequency irrespective of the repercussions of those lies. The lies could be spontaneous, vague or detailed. The duration of the lies in such cases is high and such patterns can last for several years or a lifetime. The lies are also mostly complicated as well as not associated with any general or specific goal. Pathological lying may or may not be related to any other mental health condition. There exists a habit or a compulsion on the part of the liars which becomes unavoidable for them. It is sometimes viewed as a coping mechanism developed in early childhood to deal with certain types of trauma or neglect.
Following are a few characteristics of pathological liars:
a) Self-defeating: The pathological lies lacking any specific purpose can get these liars in serious trouble where others will be unable to trust them which will ruin their relationships at both personal as well as professional levels.
b) Stress inducing: The lies are presented in order to escape some type of unknown stress. However, the lies in turn create more stress which can increase with the thought of the risks of getting caught. Hence, the cycle of stress is repeated without conscious awareness of the source of stress.
c) Aggressiveness: The liars also tend to become highly defensive whenever they are questioned and take the focus off the lie by turning aggressive.
d) Self-centred behaviours: The idea of lying to others without any known or conscious cause highlights that part of their personality, behaviour and thought pattern that consists of a lack of consideration for others with majorly focusing on fulfilling one’s own needs.
e) Exhibiting strange behaviours: Pathological liars unlike normal liars do not necessarily experience guilt, sadness or fear after lying. In most cases, people with such chronic conditions are socially awkward and exhibit behaviours that are not normally observed.
f) Manipulative and cunning: The lies mostly consist of dramatic content which they convince very cleverly by being creative and quick thinkers. They also are careful enough to not show body language depicting low self-confidence. Unlike other liars, they maintain eye contact and lie without long pauses.
Pathological liars have been known to be associated with personality disorders like borderline, narcissistic and antisocial where they engage in deception or manipulative behaviour. Although these liars are known to have no specific goal for lying to others, however, the cause is present beyond their conscious awareness due to which they repeatedly choose to lie. Factitious disorder is also said to be linked with pathological lying where there exists internal motivation to deceive others without any direct purpose. The liars also feel extremely uncomfortable facing the truth and to reduce this discomfort they choose to lie irrespective of the circumstance. In some scenarios, the child belonging to a dysfunctional environment receives conditional love and is forced to lie in order to protect themselves. In such situations, the bad habit of lying takes over their personality and becomes a habitual response in adult life.
There are several ways for such individuals to cope and manage their habit of lying. Here, others play a bigger role in supporting the people with the condition. Staying patient while dealing with such individuals is important. Expecting inconsistencies in their stories along with accepting that is also crucial as with forceful confrontation the situation can become worse. Another vital element is to not take it personally and to remember that their falsehood is a condition and a habit that has nothing to do with anyone else’s shortcomings. Suggesting treatment and therapy options is the most necessary step which will set goals in order to help the client face their deep-rooted concerns.
Though people are very well aware that living with a pathological liar is difficult, it is also important to remember living with this condition is equally challenging. It is necessary for people to recognize this condition as stressful. However, with proper guidance and steps, it is possible to deal with it gradually. It is therefore significant to remember that addressing the mental health condition of lying is as important as any other condition.
– Urveez Kakalia & Debanjana Banerjee.